Struck Blind

Begin Drudgery Dated 2/27/2011

Struck Blind

Pardon me, I beg a word, you can see I am impaired. If you for me a favor give, a fair reward I have prepared.  Take your eyes and give a witness, some vibrant sight vicarious; of that place in which you live with all its beauties various.  In your own words describe your self, dilate upon your world: paint me the fire within thine eyes and sunset sky unfurled.  [Speak of that horizon far and dewdrop near at hand, to any land you so please, anywhere your imagination spanned.  Gaze upon your heart, if possible, here my ears are keenly intent; no better beauteous spectacle could start my imperceptible ascent.] Please, what do you see, without you there's nothing there... [the world would all be dark.] Come, Love, to this respond; to this the blind man's prayer.

End Dredgery

Taking a turn for the romantic, are we?   I remember throwing this one together rather quickly... but It was a swift success in my book.  Just aded a couple lines cuz I felt it need some fleshing out and wasn't getting across the right message (The lover is referring to their love as their only sight/light, without whom the lover considers himself blind in a dark and featureless world)... maybe I was wrong?  Jury's still out.

...I just realized I hate giving away my own interpretation without anyone asking for it... my piece or not.  Bah, no big deal.

This is me, wiping the slate clean.
~Ben

Just Do It

Begin Dredgery Dated 2/25/2011

For Worship

Come forth and shout, ye men of God, praise His holy name.  All powerful and mighty is our God, he is worthy to be praised in every corporeal atom and ingraspable thought.  From the very mountainpeaks we praise, let us sing and dance for every breath we take.
Let your voices raise, O women of the Truth, thy song ring out like the angelic host, in exultation to our God and king!  Worship without a thought to things of this world, passing away, and let your spirit spring forth rivers of joy in Him who gives all things.
I cannot be silent for e'en the fleetingest moment, the fear and wonder of that I Am o'erwhelming me, compelling me to speak.

End Dredgery

I guess I was feeling abit psalmish that day.  Just because we can't hear a perfect melody to put it to, doesn't mean our words are no less a statement of worship if that is what we want them to be.  If it was good enough for David, it's good enough for me.  Maybe a little King James and Shakespeare makes it sound more poetic, if not pretentious, but that language is so much more... 'savory' than our every day language.   Ah well, there you have it.

This is me, wiping the slate clean.
~Ben

On the Lake of God

Begin Dredgery Dated 2/6/2011

Go beyond space and time, where the sea of glass shimmer-shines. And a light, not sun, but son-light, blazes through then through and yet twice-more through again. In that place are things unseen and moreso indescribable; for now just wonder at the billowing thunder that like a rug is laying out in silence, or cloudy mountains each clad in seven rainbow bonnets, reaching and rising from the flat, stilléd shore, only soon to bow down, swoon, as the Majesty comes before.  And so we watch, and still we wait, till should that heaven come appear, when in the presence of the King will we lay down in holy fear.

End Dredgery

 Short and sweet. 

This is me, wiping the slate clean.
~Ben

Getting This Dredgery Done With

Alright, so I'm going to try to get alot of this out of the way over the next several posts.  If you've read them already, bear with me... if not: Enjoy!

Begin Dredgery Dated: 1/28/2011

A Sword Afire

A poem, a praise, a prayer
I draw a sword afire, blazing with the Spirit, sharpened with His will. This simple soldier is ever vigilant, on guard against both war and wile.  Truly, ever constant, longer than the sun may rise in the east and the tide surge from peak to ebb so shall he be just and carry a fixed faith.  Ever true, for lies do not become his nature, nor his family, nor his Father.  Courage, loyalty, and veracity: These, bound with iron humility, forged through fires of tribulation, and shaped by the hammer of virtue, are like a ring that never any thief can steal, eye see, nor price buy.  But it can be offered back, back to Adonai who gives all things and His self-son Emmanuel, the Word made flesh, who knows your worth beyond all scales of man, and against whom these jewels are but bile in the presence of His almighty majesty.  And so, ring in right, blade in left, on my knees I swear allegiance: for ever and evermore, unto infinite eternity and the salvation of all mankind, the single Godhead Jesus Christ, God the Father, and the Holy Ghost, Power of the Highest, shall reign supreme [in my life and throughout creation]. Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God for ever and ever. Amen.
---------------------------------------------------------------

So, I've felt recently my heart has been troubled.  I know not the cause, nor do I need anything more than my God to continue expressing his love in my life and His will upon my future, but one of my joys is writing eloquently, descriptively, and poetically (if not unequivocally superfluous and verbose).  While I've been considering a great many things some might call 'religious' of late, more and more begun I've grown excited to relish inside the mercy and complexity and love and awe that is the Trinity.  I myself have felt the need to pray, to study, to understand the Word that is set before me in this world that has been set before us... and the many more 'words' in it that have been, shouldn't have been, and are yet to be said.  I cannot tell how I feel about posting this online, but I gotta 'write when the spirit says write'... no one will ever read my writings sitting deep within the confines of my 300+ GB Hard drive and if I give you but a single thought of inspiration or joy, my reward is fulfilled.

Really, this is all psalm, poem, praise and prayer; I do not wish to boast, only inasmuch as these words are God's, not mine, and to Him be the glory (I'll take credit for the crap, though), but I wish that you might be inspired to let your own heart out, to pray continually and in earnest, in secret and before man with humility that Jesus Christ may best use and shine through you in this world of ever tightening darkness. We should not fear addressing/considering your creator in an artistic and creative light.  He has given such gifts to us, he gave us words just as he gave us The Word: Why not sing out?

In short after long: I desired to write, it gives me joy, and I hope it brings Him glory.  I claim neither revelation nor doctrine nor inspiration, only God's infinite sovereignty and that our virtuous lives may bring honor to Him.   Feel free to share.  Praise God in all things today and forevermore; May you be blessed.

End Dredgery

That's one. :)

This is me, wiping the slate clean.
~Ben

Facebook Scavenging

So every now and then I'll be digging into my Facebook and bringing some of my writings over here.  And of course, I'll start writing them here rather than there... then post a note with everybody tagged but only give a link to it here MWUAHAHA... ok, that was lame.
But please... let me rephrase that, PLEASE (See what I did there?) offer your comments.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy writing, but I'd enjoy knowing you have an opinion of it, and how I can improve my work.  What would you like to see me write about? Psalms?  Stories?  Beauty?  Love?  Funny? Sweet or Dramatic?  Sci-fi or fantasy?  War or peace?  Life or death?  Heaven or hell?
I don't really care; whatever my readers want to read, for the most part, is my favorite.  I wouldn't write them online if I didn't want your opinions, no matter what they are, honest.

Anyhow, my poetry/stories tend to be like this blog as a whole... about whatever happens to be on my mind and how long I wanted to spend on it. You make a request, of course, and I promise it'll be on my mind. :)

Thats enough for now. 
Begin my first Facebook Dredge: Why must we love?
...Just an example of what happens when my perfectionist side goes to sleep, my focus goes to the dogs, and a muse gives her good graces. It isn’t a song…though I thought about it at points, the meter is too inconsistent
There are a lot of little details here, but don’t worry too much about trying to figure it out; I leave each to his own interpretation. In the end I just had fun writing *Shock and awe*. Enjoy.

Why must we love?

Must we scurry about our lives
Trying to find the one and only,
Or can’t we stop and stare,
And wonder for just a moment
Then move on with our conscience clear?

To not be blinded by a wisp of hair,
Or frozen by the sound of laughter;
Bound up by a pair of eyes,
And consumed in mere reflection.

Why must we love? 10
That conqueror of kings;
Can’t we find solace in other earthly things?
Why must we love?
Bowing to this power who shakes us to the core
More precious than gold,
More elusive than shooting star
Yet even when we find it, all we do is ask for more.
Why must we love?

High and low, above, below
Love laughs behind our backs. 20
It flies just out of our ever reaching hand
Driven by fear or its own unknowing bliss

And when (or if) we catch it at last
And that lacèd butterfly is grasped,
We don’t know what to do,
We woo and coo, eschew and rue.
We try so many different things things,
All for naught, this love we sought
So often just shatters in the wind.

Still, each sad and jagged piece 30
Seems as beauteous as the next,
And thus so eager are we,
To chase, cling, seek, and see;
Hoping to hold our love again.

Why must we love?
That render of the universe;
Too often it becomes something so utterly perverse
Why must we love?
Offering tears and scars angels might abhor
More devastating than a demon’s malevolence, 40
More virulent than a viper’s fang
Yet when it strikes us still, all we do is ask for more.
Why must we love?

Then it happens.
Then you know its possible.
Its there on the horizon.
Its there just around the bend.
Its there standing right in front of you.

And it waits.
And you stare. 50
But you think…
Too soon you blink.
And its gone.

Maybe stunned for just a passing moment,
Stand we defeated to a timeless tyr’nt,
Paltry hesitation claims his newest casualty.

About to curse that lost chance,
One a lifetime does not oft spare,
Our heart stops in realization,
We cannot breathe in mysterious anticipation. 60
It is really there beside you,
And been for some time,
So we stop and stare
And wonder for just a moment.

You do not touch
Not yet, not for now.
In this moment where time stands still.
Only you and your love and their love and them.
And there is no shame.

Why must we love? 70
That we might find heaven on earth,
And unite within an eternal birth.
Why must we love?
Caressing the world incarnate, our one and only amore
More spellbindingly ablaze than the crimson dawn
More furious serenity than the hurricane’s eye
There is no wonder in it, that all we do is ask for more

The shimmering radiance of coursing diamond streams
Could not buy the Eden love discovers.
But even paradise had steep conditions, 80
And must the most beautiful rose grow some thorns.

But no rose doesn’t pale in the light of that smile
No utopia offers such a comforting glow.

But those eyes we see, see us, we see
Those eyes. Those eyes.
We fall into those gazing eyes.
And see the farthest reaches of the galaxies…
Or the crystal reflection of our soul.

We bathe in sweet remembrance
Relieved in each other’s presence 90
Reciprocating passions you’ve only dreamed of
A rapture beyond this corporeal dimension.

Why must we love?
Because He says it is good.
Why must we love?
We wait so long for ‘perfection’
When ‘wonderful’ passes us by
Why must we love?
Can’t it be any easier?
Its worth it’s weight in tears. 100
Why must we love?
Can’t we just be friends?
A soul mate is just the start
Why must we love?
Why can’t we love?
Who must we love?
When must we love?
How do we love?
Is this love?
True Love? 110
Love. My Love.
True, Love.
Is this, Love?
How do I love?
When can I love?
Who can I love?
Why can’t I love?
Why must I love?
…When will she be mine?
Solemn sincerity fill closèd eyes 120
I determinedly ponder toward the skies
A single cloud but silently responds
And the setting sun beckons from beyond
The stars begin to glimmer
The crickets’ songs just simmer.
I can only relish in this soft night
I might as well have achieved flight

In silent surrender I realize,
Why [we] fight such magnificence,
Why face such malevolence[...] 130
Love, that is harsh and heavy, invaluable and incontrovertible,
We don’t understand it,
We cannot hope to perfect it,
Why must we love?
This is why we love:




Because He is.
Because He does.
Because He says.
Because we obey.
Because I can.

Because I can.
Because He does.
Because He is.

I must love. 140

Only God knows the rest.

End of Dredgery.
You know, after all is said and done, I don't really like it.  Not really.  :/ Maybe... it's old 'n stuff.  I really like the word Dredgery though.  I've edited a few lines to fairly pleasant effect.... I think I'll keep 'em. Oops, time for bed... 5am here I come!  We thank thee Lord for this wonderful weekend, yet more time on this wonderful creation you have made... and still we wait for you, in all things, forever and always, that your Will be done until you come again.

This is me, wiping the slate clean.
~Ben

Where's your heart at?

Stop.
.
.
.
Benjamin Harris
JohnRobynJamesRebekahAaron
Family
Alaska
Swimming
Highschool
GradesSportsTheatre
Back.
Homeschool
Home
TreesMountains

DirtRoads

PavedRoads
Wasilla
Growing
Growingup
Whittier
Boat
Docks
Harbor
HermitCrabsEelsKrillJelliesUrchins
Bugs
Lawn
Sprinkler
CapturetheFlag
Camp
Games
MechwarriorMystChess
Sonic
Sega
N64
Mario Kart
WilliamClint
Cousins
PamSandi
DanTrudyMargoMike
Marriage
Sex
No.
Love
LegsBreastsHairWeightFaceEyes
Herbody
Mybody
No.
BeautyKindnessPrideTalentJoyPatienceGentlenessWeaknessStrength
Herself
Myself
No.
Faith
Priorities
Wants
Needs
Understanting
Knowledge
Wisdom
Whoareyou?
No.
WhoamI? 
JonathanJuror11BelAfirisCenturionAdamErnestEmileClaudioLuciusMuleyFloydFridOrsinoLinusErnestSiwardApparitionJoeLarryLongavilleHerb
No.
Wheretostart
Wheretobegin
Wherediditbegin
Whendiditbegin
04031988
Benjamin Harris
5182011
Now?
Whendidnowbegin? 

9/11/01

Destruction

Fear

Suspicion

Hatred

War

Pain

Sin

In the beginning

Itwasgood 

TheGarden

Perfection

Personal Relationship

Prayer 

Youwillsurelydie

Thefall

Sacrifice

Christ

TheCross

Grace

Ressurection

TheWord

TheGospell

Godspell
Theatre
Managementdegree
NAU
Friends
Teachers
Learning
SUU
Friends
Professionals
Growing
Growingup
Wherearewegrowing?
Wherearewegoing?
Utah
Home
Myhome
Homeofmyown
Independence
Money
Jobs
%+,$$,&Acct#
Tithe
Priorities
Him
orme
WhoamI?
Benjamin Harris
STOP.


Just.... stop.  Too much.  Lets try that again.  This time, I'll try to keep quiet.  Read on, and scrolling only; no dragging, mouse wheel, or scrollbar jumping permitted beyond this point. ==>

Stop.

Ok...

What did you think about?  As you scrolled through the nothingness... what went through your mind?  'How long is this going to take?'  'What is this nut job playing at?'  'Ummm awkward.'  'WTF Mate?'  'Ok, I've got plans and this veritable cornucopia of nothing is not in them.'
Maybe, maybe not.
Needless to say, I did it wrong the first time.  And the second time.  And the third, and the fourth....
I may be asking for the impossible, but here goes nothing: Try again.  Go on, scroll all the way back up and do it again. (Feel free to reset however floats your boat, but no cheating on the way down; you could just just do it in reverse... maybe you'll get your time back. ^u^ ) 
Anyway, this time, don't think.  Let yourself slow down for just a minute... you might even stop in the middle.  Find your own slate.  Whats on it right now?  Clean it off.  I'm not talking about some zen, ahmooahmitofudaah, meditation mumbo-jumbo; but take every little detail that makes you up, in this moment, memories/experiences/friends/relatives/hopes/dreams/what you feel/what you see... and shut it all down.  Strip it back, stuff it in the trunk, sit on it and lock it up, then shove it out the window.  Whats left?  Even if we throw out the black board, there's going to be a wall... get to the bottom of you *You.*  Can you do it?  Try again.


Well? Did you strategize, analyze, conceptualize, prioritize?  More complaints?  Family?  Future?  Friends?  Friendship?  Failings?  None and/or all of the above at once?  I expect that's typical.  In our day and age its so common for us to race everywhere, doing everything, and we fall behind if don't and are condemned (by society, not in reality) if we can't.  Didn't it seem like an eternity, staring at that nothing for me?  It's about 10 seconds, give or take for scroll speeds.

All this to ask, where is your heart at?  When you woke up, when you sat down; right now.  Not where you are in your life, what amazing/terrible things are happening to/around you, not your plans, nor your passions.  Can you find what is the most sacred to you, point it out; amongst the chaos with put a finger on the single tranquil nexus point around which everything in your universe madly spins.

If you can't... as Miracle Max would say:  What's so important? Figure it out.  Make sure it's something that will endure and survive everything life has to throw at you... we all know that it will.  If all else is stripped away and that one thing remains, what would it say (to yourself and others) about you, your future, and your place in this world.
This point is vital even if you have found it.  If it can't withstand the flames of time, chance, failure, decay, destruction, and human defect, in the end how effective is it going to be in a world wracked with all of them?  You've got to know in what your strength is found, and be in it at all times.  What is  your life and every action of every second of every day therein motivated, guided, and shaped by/towards... and how's it doing right now? You've got to know where your heart is.

In my case, it is an unchanging, just, loving, and all powerful God, Son, and Holy Spirit who is beyond human reason and understanding... if He were anything less, He couldn't pass the test.  No one can take that from me, nor tell me I am wrong to live my life from/to/towards/for that always.  I am also by no means perfect(ed) in following this heart, nor worthy of such a source... yet it exists as freely for me as it does the next person.  And I strive, more and more every day, to live as a good and faithful servant.  Anyone who has a problem with that should talk to me... or if you think I'm doing it wrong.

So... I omitted this in my original stream.... at the black block.  I didn't want to insert too much opinion before letting people try it on for size.
...
9/11/01
Destruction
Fear
Suspicion
Hatred
War

Pain

Sin

In the beginning
Itwasgood 
TheGarden
Perfection

Personal Relationship

Prayer 

Youwillsurelydie

Thefall

Sacrifice
Christ
TheCross
Grace

Ressurection
TheWord
TheGospell
...



This was again... all too loud... to much chaos; lack of center... many important things, many silly, many omitted as doubles or sharply personal. Also I don't want to get preachy... but we can talk if you want to. :)  I just want you to think about what I've said; whether you agree with me on all points or none, I think it's a vitally important 10 seconds of silence.

So friend, what you got here that's worth living for?  Go find it. Go live it.

This is me, wiping the slate clean.
~Ben

It starts

I'd like to personally welcome each and every reader to my new blog!  Unfortunately this is the internet, so unless each and every one of you comment, I really won't be able to do such a thing. ;)
So, Hi!  How are you?  I'm swell. Hope you are too.
Lately I've found the need to talk.  Or rhyme.  Or write.  Or do two at once.  All three at once is out... I'm not that talented.  However, I've just realized I've been gifted with this splendid little brain and that I should use it to its very fullest.  Like a painter experimenting with light, color, and texture, as a writer/artist I really won't know what works, what doesn't, and what I'm good at until I just sit down (or whatever) and try it out.
Don't get me wrong, there will be times I just shouldn't say anything.  Hopefully in such cases, I will not be blogging.  But business as usual here will be, I hope, to examine my life (or yours or ours in general), my passions, my art, my mind, my year, my job, my week, my day, my moment, my God...  Whatever and however it decides to manifest itself in the written word in a way I happen to feel willing to share.  Sound fair?  I'm just getting it all out where I (we) can stare at it for a sec and then erase the board bare and write some more on there.
Thtat is all.  For now, inanycase.  Have a great one!
This is me, wiping the slate clean.
~Ben